Friday, April 23, 2004
R E S P E C T
I hauled my butt to choir last night despite how tired I was feeling because it was the responsible thing to do seeing as how we have a concert tonight. I was in such advanced stages of exhaustion that I would lose my balance just standing still. But I still went to choir because it was the responsible thing to do. The youth choir rehearsal was okay, that choir doesn't have a concert tonight. It sucks that my entire section doesn't seem to be able to sight read in the least, but oh well. What really really really pissed me off was the Anna Magdelena rehearsal.
Let's start with a run-down of AM. We are a group of singers hand-picked from the female voices in the Chorale and the youth choir because Bruce Pullan
(conductor) recognizes that we are able to handle more difficult pieces. It's like the "best of the best" type deal. Last night, not many people turned up despite the fact that it was the responsible thing to do, seeing as how we have a concert tonight. Bruce Pullan wanted to cancel our section of the concert because there just wasn't enough people to sing. (Many singers already told Mrs. Maguire why they couldn't be at tonight's concert)
So here's the deal. Bruce starts insulting all the singers present, telling us what a shitty job we did at Thursday's concert, how we made so many mistakes that it was a complete travesty. How tonight's concert is going to be just as bad if not ten times worse because we have fewer singers. He proceeds to get us to sing excerpts from the music and when we make one mistake, instead of correcting us, he just gives this exasperated gesture and sighs, "It's not going to work, it's just not going to work." Then he passes snide comments about how we "really depend on certain singers here". So what, all the people who are present just really really suck and can't hold their own and we are completely dependent on the people who are absent. Thanks for making us feel valued. You picked us buddy.
Not to mention that I was sharp all of last night owing to the fact that I was just absolutely, rock-bottom tired. Every five seconds he would turn and glare at me. "You're singing sharp. Why are you so sharp? Stop singing sharp. Can't you not sing sharp?" Look. I could have not attended the rehearsal at all last night, and I'm missing something I really want to get done to be at the concert tonight. (I'll have to wait a whole month before I can get this thing done now) I needed rest last night, anyone looking at me could tell. I DIDN'T HAVE TO BE AT THAT REHEARSAL AND I DON'T HAVE TO BE AT THE CONCERT TONIGHT. But I was and I will be. Thanks for acknowledging the effort I'm making to be an active and contributing member of AM.
I don't think the solution to absenteeism is berating and disrespecting the people who do make the effort to turn up. It's counter-intuitive, doesn't make sense and makes us all feel completely unimportant to the whole group. Bruce Pullan's behaviour last night was absolutely unacceptable. Prior to this, I looked up to him greatly, admired his talent and had great respect for his skill. Now I don't know what to think about him. Last night I thought he was a fuck stick of course, but I spoke to Jim about it and he made a good point. People act differently depending on what is happening in their lives. I don't know what was going through his head/what happened during his day/week/month and perhaps he was/is going through a hard time/had a rough day. I know that behaviour like that is inexcusable regardless. But I also know that I don't treat the people around me fairly when I am experiencing difficulties in my day-to-day either.
I'm still going to turn up for the concert tonight. I just don't know what I'll do if he gives me any more grief for being sharp because with the amount of sleep I'm operating on, and the level of sheer physical exhaustion that I'm experiencing, I will be sharp. That's a fact and considering how badly he needs our numbers there, he had better suck it up.
posted by Joie! at