Friday, April 16, 2004
We assembled in St. Mary's in Kerrisdale last night for the Spring Concert. Jim and his mom came to watch. I have to say that having people that are in the audience who also spend time with you in real life makes a huge difference. If there's no one there that you know, I find that you are less aware of your performance and that you are on auto-pilot. Just because there were people there to watch me last night, I felt so much more invovled in the performance. A more organic connection, I guess. It's hard to explain because it's not like if there's no one there to watch me I deliver a sub-standard performance, it's more like...well.. urm yeah, let's just pretend that I never tried to explain this concept. Those of you who get it can "Write Me" and tell me how.
When I joined the RGS choir back in '97, I remember my conductress telling me that singing was an activity that involved the whole body. I didn't understand her and therefore didn't really believe her. Think about how much of your body is involved when you speak. As I've moved forward as a singer, I'm continually astounded by how true that statement is. Last night I had to hit some pretty high notes, but because I was singing with my entire body it was surprisingly effortless and indescribably satisfying. I was in this workshop once where the facilitator said that if you are singing in a choir and you cannot hear your own voice you are doing a good job. It wasn't a very good description of the concept she was trying to describe, so I'm going to paraphrase it. I think what you should hear when you are singing in a choir is your own voice, but your own voice sounding like it is being produced by an outside source. I heard my own voice last night and I was very, very pleased.
I guess I never thought that I could get very far singing. So far though I am in the city's youth choir, the group of women's voices culled from the youth choir to perform more challenging works and in the provincial youth choir. I've sung a solo with the university choir (at the Chan
no less!!) and scored a solo at last year's BC Youth choir performance. For someone with no formal training...I don't think I'm doing too shabby. All these elements combined have given me a sense of confidence in my potential and really makes me wonder what would have happened if I wanted to major in voice. (Contrary to popular belief there are many well-paying jobs for people who graduate with a Bachelor's in Music). Perhaps I'll explore that path after I finish my current degree, which will be a bit of a joke, thanks to UBC doing stupid things with my program.
*sigh* I wish I had enough money for voice lessons. Voice is an instrument and I really would like to gain better mastery of it. I've got the potential, and I believe that if you've got undeveloped potential, your karma is going to suck. If you are given potential, it is your responsibility to maximize it. That's what I think anyway and if anyone is interested in donating to my voice lesson fund, I've got a PayPal account... :D
posted by Joie! at