Thursday, December 07, 2006 ______________________________________________________________________________

I Dream of Koreans 

I had a dream last night and I can't decide if I enjoyed it or not. On the one hand I really really really really really liked it, on the other it was really strange and some aspects of it would've turned it into a nightmare were it not mitigated by the everything else.

The dream starts at some kind of tropical resort bungalow. Wooden plank floors, bad reception on the local channels, indoor plants that are so leafy you're secretly worried that there are scary crawly things living inside. Thing is, it's somewhere in Canada. I think it's supposed to be where I'm living now actually because Lisa and David are visiting. They are able to visit because my mother cashed in their airmiles for their plane tickets. (It was at this point that I knew for sure that I was dreaming.) Jim's expected home anytime soon. We're all watching TV on a giant bed with Thai silk prints on the sheets and covers. You know, the kind that you find at tropical resort bungalows.

Someone is knocking to get in and I roll out of the bed to see who it is. I have to go into the corridor (which is carpeted with the same stuff that was on the floor of my old apartment) to descend the wide stairs (which are hardwood and lead to the middle of what can only be described as the foyer). Yul's at the door. Yul's at the door in nothing but those bermuda shorts that he wears on Survivor. (For reference, please see picture are right. Only in the dream he's smiling, not like in the picture where he's looking perturbed.) He asks to come in and join the party. I confess that I have an incredible crush on him. He grins and takes it as a compliment. The best part about it is that he doesn't let that comment make things weird between us. In fact, we're relating to each other as though we've been friends for a long time. We all climb into bed and continue watching TV. I lean against him and his arms are rock hard. My excuse is that with four people in the bed at this point, people have to lean against each other, otherwise there wouldn't be enough space. So there.

Jim gets back and the show we're watching is either over or we've agreed that we've tolerated our fair share of the Malaysian-esque reception we're getting on the heavily subtitled show. We're all getting up to greet him and all I can think of is how psyched I am about introducing him to Yul (who by the way is Jim's pick to win Survivor - Jim picked Brad initially but switched to Yul on the 3rd episode*.) I brush against the leafy foliage and something bites me. Hard. It hurts like a bitch and in no time at all I can't move. I can still see and hear, but I can't move. A bit of scuffling ensues as people decide what to do with me. I'm eventually moved down to the patio (which is carpeted in the same stuff that is covering the floors in our current place). Someone turns the TV back on as they wait for the stuff in me to wear off. The show's boring and I fall asleep.

When I wake up I can move again, but I find everyone panicking because they thought I passed out. There's paramedics everywhere. Jim and Yul are both in paramedic uniforms (HOW HOT IS THAT?!). Things calm down a little and we decide to go to Costco to get groceries. Jim and I don't usually shop there, but since there are five people now (in case you've lost count, there's Lisa, David, Yul, Jim and me) it would make a trip there worth it. Besides, Costco is so much more than a grocery store. We figured we could make an outing out of it. We split up when we get there. I'm with Yul and Lisa and we're looking at bunnies. (No, Costco does not sell bunnies in real lide. Not live ones anyway.) The bunnies are so awesome. One of them puts my finger in its mouth. I thought it was going to bite me. Instead it sucked my finger. Really hard. We all giggle and consider buying Sucky the rabbit then come to our sense and realise that when Sucky the rabbit meets Gato the hunter and Fort-"is that a toy for me"-inbras it would quickly turn into Bleedy the dead bunny. We find Dave and Jim and leave without buying anything.

Next scene I'm at work, having left the other four to entertain themselves. I'm with a co-worker in the Mystery/Erotica section. (I kid you not, the Erotica section is at the end of the Mystery section. Someone had a sense of humour up at corporate.) She's looking for something in the Mystery section, but we're also giggling at some of the Erotica stuff. The lighting in the store is getting gradually darker. Imperceptibly at first, but we notice when we start to have to squint to read the spines of the books. As the place darkens, this letch starts walking by us leeringly asking for help with the Erotica section. We ignore him and think he'll go away but all he does is walk around the back of the shelves to cruise by again. He's doing some kind of circuit as the lights get dimmer and dimmer. Eventually (despite the low-lighting and the letch) we find the book she's looking for. She takes it and leaves the section. I'm following right behind her but I trip on something and fall flat on my face. It's completely dark at this point and I can hear the letch coming up behind me. I know he can't see anything either but the last thing I want is for him to trip on me. So I start yelling.

I must've been yelling in my sleep because before that resolves Fort's nudging me with a wet nose. I think he was drinking water when he heard me. Either way, that was enough to wake me up.

I suppose that would teach me to watch a surreal South Park episode before I sleep. The episode I watched featured a singer called Wing. For a sampling of her tunes, visit her official website. Just for fun, here is a sample of her work. First person to tell me what the hell she is singing wins a prize.

*At the start of all the Survivor seasons Jim, Brian and I choose a player who we think will win. This is largely luck, of course being that you can't really tell much about someone after the first episode. These things are generally binding and you're not allowed to switch your choice. The thing is that after the first episode Jim and I both wanted Ozzy. Jim graciously let me have him and picked Brad only because he got his head pinched in and was the only other person from the episode that Jim remembered. When we watched the next few episodes, Jim wanted to pick Yul instead and because he let me have Ozzy, I let him switch his pick. We do these first episode picks for all the reality shows we watch. Right now the only show on our roster is Survivor 13: Cook Islands.


posted by Joie! at 10:19 a.m.


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